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Hey everybody,

Please visit Audra on Purpose in my new home at www.Audrakrell.com.

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Can't wait to see you there!

The Boxing Writer

I box to be a better writer.

For most, writing is very emotional. Sometimes I have so much feeling, that it prohibits good writing. 

When we were young, we were taught to punch a pillow when we got angry. I thought that sounded stupid. Now I wish I'd tried it.

Kicking and punching the heavy bag brings out emotions I didn't know I had. After burning 600 calories in 30 minutes, you feel depleted on every level, everything is stripped away.

When I'm down to the bare bones, it's time to write. I still have the emotions fresh on my mind, but because I have dealt with them, my craftsmanship can come through. I use my experiences to carefully construct meaningful dialogue with a powerful takeaway. 

Boxing allows me to get out of myself, which puts my focus where it should be.

On you, the reader.

Teachable aside: if you want to laugh your you-know-what off and need humorous material for your column, drop by the gym and you'll see a spaz trying not to bite someone's ear off. 

I never said it was pretty.

The Pitcher Whisperer

Today is Keegan's golden birthday. He said he doesn't feel any different, but I do! It's like a rite of passage or something....I. have. an. 18. year. old. I cannot get it through my head. If he's 18, how old does that make the rest of us? You can do the math, perhaps you'll be as shocked as I am.

This picture was taken when he was a few days old. Born 10 weeks premature, he weighs 3 lbs. 9 ou if you include the weight of the ball. 

One day while visiting the NICU, I distinctly heard him ask for a baseball. I called my husband and he brought his from when he was a child. Keegan's breathing slowed and became even. He was at peace.

Thanks to my ability to hear and interpret the chatter of a week old baseball player, Keeg grew up to be a 6'1 pitcher. We kicked that preemie stuff to the curb and never looked back.

He's also a darn fine person. We are blessed beyond reason by the man he has become.

Happy Birthday Googs! You'll always be our baby.

"Pitchers Like Poets Are Born Not Made" - Cy Young

On Healthy Competition

Photo courtesy of @iStockphoto

 

You hear it from teachers, instructors, coaches and especially from experts on boys.

"Competition is natural." 

Just because it's natural doesn't always make it acceptable. For example, I may naturally have some gray hair, but that don't mean it's right!

Competition among family members can be one of the most detrimental relational experiences. In competition, there is always a winner and a loser. Efforts to gain approval often lead to constant striving, winning at any cost and low self-esteem.

In competition, someone always feels left out, second best, last or undervalued. In families where the members experience these emotions, certain members will give up, give in and withdraw. It's difficult to be a strong family when one or more members are always striving to be the center of attention, or the "winner" if you will.

That said, competition is a great way for the family to bond. The natural competition occurs in trying to better the family as a whole. Setting goals, dreaming together and succeeding at family projects, strengthen family ties. 

Those are the ties that bind.

Strong families play together, and win as a whole, so they'll stay together.

Passport Through Darkness

Don't know if you've noticed, but I've cooled it lately on the book reviews. This one though, is a must.

Kimberly Smith has been doing God's work for years, trying to stop human trafficking. 

Her writing it powerful and keeps the reader coming back. Not because you can stomach the content, but because you are changed from the first chapter. I was with Kimberly, watching alongside as she tended to every need of our brothers and sisters in Sudan, and prayed for her as she battled her own demons all the while.

I've never considered myself a mission type servant, but I don't know how I couldn't not go after reading this book. Even if you don't think you would ever serve in this way, Kimberly's authentic account changes the way you'll pray. 

From a writer's standpoint, this book has too many stories going on at one time. I hope for more books from Kimberly, that will delve deeper into each experience. At the same time, I'd rather have her servant heart in the field, than in a chair writing. Her work is life-changing for countless people.

Get your copy today. Go over to my Amazon box on the right, type in Passport to Darkness and your book will arrive by early next week.

Many thanks to Audra Jennings and the B&B Media Group for providing me with this review copy.

Agenda of an Artist

Photo courtesy @iStockphoto

 

Every time I start writing a book, I dread telling people about it. Inevitably, someone asks, "where are you going with this story?" And I usually don't have a good answer. 

I squirm and flail, mumbling something about a direction the story might go, or offering an apology for not knowing or being clear. Then they think I don't want to spoil the book for them. But that's not the case either. I simply don't know. 

When I start a novel, I don't have an agenda. I have a dirty black canvas, where anything could happen.  A medium to explore and discover. I chip away at the darkness, fashioning a moving, breathing story until just enough light is let in.

Other artists understand this. They don't ask what your agenda is, instead they wonder what you are currently exploring. 

Artists may not have an agenda or know where they're going, but we know how we're getting there.

 

How to Say No to Negativity

I've seen post after post about people giving up negativity for Lent. Claiming you want to is the first step, but once you're in, how exactly do you do it?

Here are 5 ways to avoid negativity.

1. Be slow to speak:  Think about the words you will say after someone is done talking. Our first words often aren't our best. Once we've adopted a negative lifestyle, almost 100% of what we say is a negative, cynical comment. A little thinking allows wisdom to prevail.
2. Be quick to listen: Not just as an exercise, but real, active listening. Maybe ask a question about what you just heard, nod your head at the appropriate time or ask the speaker to expound on their subject.
3. Drop the need to be right:  A know-it-all comes across negatively. How often do you find yourself saying, " I just love Susie. She knows everything and enthralls us moment by moment with her fascinating facts and opinions on everything, even stuff she knows absolutely nothing about."?
4. Practice: Listen to the news, radio or podcasts without forming thoughts and opinions until after the speaker is finished speaking.
5. Believe: Know that you can choose to be positive. Know that you're giving a positively wonderful gift to others!

What do you need to work on most?

Write Reasons

photo courtesy of iStockphoto

In writing, as in anything worth doing, it's important that we know why we're doing it. 

I write, so no one feels abandoned. Going a little deeper, I write about the struggles of living, never wanting to minimize, but to give a powerful voice to it.

Deciding and naming why you write, gives you a roadmap, direction and purpose.

Writing reasons:

To be relevant

To be excellent

To address temptation

To encourage

To teach

To remind

To share wisdom

To bless 

To answer a calling

Why do you write?

Wrestling Faith

By now you've probably heard about Joel, who refused to wrestle a girl and thus had to forfeit the match.

He walked away because of his faith. He believes in respecting women and didn't feel he could do that by wrestling.

Rick Reilly, a noted ESPN columnist wrote a demeaning story (http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/news/story?id=6136707)  about why Joel should have wrestled her. He says the young woman "relishes the violence" and "loathes being protected."

So, she's asking for it Rick? I didn't realize that if we decide a woman is asking to be disrespected that it's okay to do whatever we want to her, because she "deserves it" since she asked for it.

I thought we'd been trying to fight against those messages for a long time.

The world needs a whole lot more real men like Joel. He is a man who stands up for what he believes in, based on who he is, not on who other people may or may not be. Whether the young woman wanted to be respected and defended or not, Joel chose the right way based on his convictions and beliefs.

Integrity and respect mean more to Joel than a wrestling title. My mom taught me that you'll never regret being nice to people. Joel's conviction and kindness will take him a lot further than any wrestling title ever could.

Negativity-Free Zone

Photo credit iStockphoto

Had dinner with an old friend last night and she said she's giving up negativity for Lent. She is encouraging her entire extended family to quit complaining. I love the idea and hope they all see lasting results.

Then today I came across this post from Trevor Lund. He will send you 40 daily emails to help you and yours quit the negativity addiction throughout the Lenten season.

It's easy to develop and hard to recognize you've got a problem.  You know, a complaint here and there about how much you hate people in the media, politics and Hollywood. A bash about the local grocery clerk. A disgusting eye roll toward the homeless person riding their bike alongside the road. A cruel word to the opposing team in the name of competition. Berating the serviceperson who isn't working hard or quickly enough in your opinion.

Before you know it, your "opinion" which you become known for, is one of utter negativity toward the world in general. People can always count on you to find the bad and make it uglier. 

And then, if you're an artist, it seeps into your creations. Colors every piece with shades of gray and lots of black. You sing the same old sad song, write the same poem, tell your dark story one more time.

In short, negativity kills creativity.

Creativity breeds life and I want to fully live.

What about you? Do you have a negative complaint behavior you need to quit?